Written, reluctantly but beautifully, by:
Elion Miradove
Poet-Sage of the Harmonious Muse
Warg Whisperer (Retired)
Unlicensed Matchmaker of Moderate Success
Wood Elf Romance: Like Courtship, But With Bark in Your Hair
If you've never been tackled into a fern patch mid-confession or gifted a bouquet of stinging nettles "because they reminded me of you," then you've probably never courted a Wood Elf.
Wood Elves are cunning, clever, adaptable, and—let’s be honest—utterly feral with flair. Though time in and around Arandor has lent them polish, it’s a veneer barely thick enough to cover the moss. And thank the Valar for it. Their charm lies in their unpredictability and vibrancy.
The women are vivacious, teasing, and often delight in pulling you just out of your comfort zone. If she likes you, you’ll know because she’ll make a game out of it—probably involving climbing something or trespassing. Love, to her, is best shouted from treetops or whispered during a chase.
The men are spry, charmingly happy-go-lucky, and often seem like they’re on the verge of turning any situation into a dance or prank. If one flirts with you, expect puns, acrobatics, and spontaneous lute music. If one’s serious about you, he’ll still do all that—but also show up with something absurdly meaningful he whittled in the dead of night.
Key Tip: Let go. Laugh. Learn to duck. Wood Elf romance is a whirlwind of leaves, laughter, and loyalty. If you can handle the chaos, you may just find something wild and wonderful waiting for you in the underbrush.
Hill Elf Romance: Steel-Wrapped Sentiment
Now, if you're interested in wooing a Hill Elf, bring a hammer. Not to use, mind you—just to show you respect hard work and don’t mind if your partner can probably knock you into next week.
Hill Elves are resilient, grounded, and in this era, many have become the stalwart guardians of Arandor’s gates. While they still honor their roots as artisans and miners, make no mistake: many are seasoned warriors who’ve traded their chisels for glaives—and still know how to use both.
The women are towers in leather and steel, built with curves that could withstand a siege and patience that could outlast one. They love with the same strength they put into their craft: quietly, with absolute conviction, and often through the medium of practical gifts. If she’s sharpening your blade, reinforcing your boots, or handing you a better version of your own weapon—congratulations, she’s smitten.
The men by contrast, tend to let their actions do the talking—usually loudly, through cracked shields, cleared battlements, or hand-forged rings you had no idea they were working on. They may not compose poetry, but they’ll fortify your home, stand between you and danger, and carry you three miles out of a canyon with a broken ankle before offering a single, gruff: “You alright?”
Key Tip: Actions mean more than words. Prove yourself capable, dependable, and worthy of trust, and they’ll offer you a love as unyielding as bedrock.
High Elf Romance: Courtship as Performance Art
To court a High Elf is to walk a tightrope between admiration and inadequacy, all while being handed a goblet of wine that costs more than your home.
As descendants of Arandor’s first founders, High Elves are at their most radiant within its halls. This is their stage, their seat of power—and they thrive in it. Though not unkind, they are intimidatingly accomplished. Everything they do is with precision, from their spellwork to their cheekbones.
The women are brilliant, poised, and masterfully elusive. If she likes you, she may test your intellect with philosophical riddles, quote obscure poetry at you, or vanish for a week and expect you to deduce why. When she does speak plainly, take notes—it’s probably important.
The men are equally gifted, combining elegance with deadly competence. They rarely pursue openly but will orchestrate opportunities for you to be near them and then act surprised you showed up. If one invites you to a private lecture, ceremonial duel, or moonlit stroll among marble spires, that’s him flirting. Yes, really.
Key Tip: Don’t fake sophistication—they’ll smell it like sour wine. Be earnest, well-spoken, and curious. Prove you can keep up, and you may just win a heart sharpened like a blade.
Final Thoughts from a Poet Who Has Tried (and 'Occasionally' Succeeded)
Elven romance is not fast. It is not simple. And it is certainly not without peril. We love slowly, with great care and greater consequence. We’re born with eternity in our blood, and every bond we make carries the weight of centuries.
But oh, when it takes root—when it blooms—it is a thing of wonder.
And if you fail?
Well, you’ll have a poem written about you. Possibly sung at your expense. Possibly by me.
With wit, warmth, and absolutely no guarantees of success,
Elion Miradove
Poet-Sage of the Harmonious Muse
Chronicler of Curious Courtships,
Unrepentant Eavesdropper of Love Letters,
Still Unclear on What High Elves Mean by “Subtle”